Looking for some helpful tips to become a good dad?
We’ve got just what you need – an amazing fatherhood cheat sheet!
Fatherhood is indeed a wonderful blessing – but it often comes with the fear of messing up and not being capable of becoming a good dad. You need to know that it’s not totally about whining, dirty diapers, and compromised personal space.
All these things do come with the role but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the job while at it.
Today, the dynamics of the father-son relationship are such that fathers are playing an active rather than a passive role in the lives of their sons.
If you want to see your son growing up into a confident, capable, and competent individual, you’ve got to become an affectionate, nurturing father. Plus, children who’re raised by good fathers tend to raise their children the same way.
Today, we’re presenting a set of instructions to help you when things go wrong. Whether you’re about to become a father or you’re a confused first-timer, believe us when we say that you need this manual!
Table of Contents
- 1 1. It Does Get Easier
- 2 2. Don’t Put Everything on the Mother
- 3 3. Respect Their Mother, Always!
- 4 4. Spend Quality Time with Them
- 5 5. Be Very Patient
- 6 6. Listen First, Talk After
- 7 7. Make It a Habit to Read to Them
- 8 8. Let Them Play
- 9 9. Know When to Say a Firm’ No’
- 10 10. Give Them the Freedom to Be Themselves
- 11 11. Hand Over Some Control to Them
- 12 12. Be a Role Model
- 13 13. Allocate Time for TV and Video Games
- 14 14. Share Meals as a Family
- 15 15. Understand What Your Kids Want from You
- 16 16. Use Your Sense of Humor
1. It Does Get Easier
We’ll start with assuring you that no matter how challenging the role of a father may seem, it always gets easier with time.
The first few months with a newborn child are not easy – we get it. Frequent feeding duties and no-reason nighttime whining may bring sleepless nights and overwhelming days but the time shall pass.
You may not be willing to believe it now but all you’ll remember when they’re ready to leave the nest is the moments of happiness, love, and affection. The first couple of years are difficult, yes but just hang in there – the reward is waiting!
2. Don’t Put Everything on the Mother
Marriage is all about sharing responsibilities and working together to strengthen the bond. The mother shouldn’t be the only one watering the plant while you sit back and enjoy the fruits.
You shouldn’t be one of those dads who regard certain tasks as ‘mom duties’. Learn to share responsibilities – it’ll reduce the load on the mother and most importantly, you’ll be able to spend quality time with your son!
If the mother can change diapers, bathe the kids, and dress them up, so can you! You may not realize it now but this impression will be imprinted on your son – and he’ll pass on the same to the next generations.
So, help the mother out and work like a team to raise your children with the love and care they truly deserve!
3. Respect Their Mother, Always!
One of the best tips to become a good dad is to treat the mother with respect. It’s important that your kids see you respecting and supporting their mother – it’ll prove them with a secure environment to grow in.
Abusive dads promote a cycle of abuse that is likely to continue for generations.
Children who see their fathers disrespecting their mothers tend to grow up with insecurities and emotional problems – and you wouldn’t want that for your kid, would you?
4. Spend Quality Time with Them
Children need as much affection from the father as much as they crave for their mother’s love. Being in the same room isn’t enough. You need to spend quality time with them. Every. Single. Day.
The time may seem to be stuck right now but you’ll be surprised how quickly it’ll fly. The time you have with your child isn’t only short but also so precious. Don’t let any moment that can be spent better go to waste.
Make sure you’re present both physically and mentally with them because they can sense it when your mind drifts away. For them, ‘love’ spells ‘T.I.M.E’ – always remember that!
5. Be Very Patient
Being a father, it’s very easy to lose your temper and get impatient when dealing with your kids – but it’s not the right way.
You must never react in anger or frustration in front of your children. Whenever you feel your patience bubble is about to burst, you should walk out straight away, take a few deep breaths, and drink some water.
Being patient at all times is a virtue that’ll benefit the father-son relationship in the long run.
6. Listen First, Talk After
The next time the mother sends the kids to you when they do something mischievous, you should consider listening to their story before you start talking.
The reason why many children dread such a situation where they have to do the ‘walk of fear’ is that fathers often don’t have the time to hear what they’ve to say.
It’s important that your child isn’t afraid of you. They should know that you’ll always be there to hear out their ideas and problems.
When you listen to them before delivering your lecture and words of wisdom, it makes them feel respected and valued.
If you don’t allow them to speak their mind and heart, they’ll learn to keep their opinions and ideas to themselves as they grow older.
Moreover, when the communication channel between you and your kid is strong, it’ll be easier for both of you to talk on difficult topics as they grow older.
7. Make It a Habit to Read to Them
Another simple way of enjoying quality time with your children is by reading to them. Whether you like to read or not, this little activity is crucial for your child’s development from the time they’re babies onwards.
Taking out a few minutes from your daily routine to read to your children will instill the habit of reading into their minds, preparing them for a lifetime of learning. Plus, the tradition may carry on for generations!
8. Let Them Play
Playing is as important for kids as studying is. Let them play because it plays a significant role in their development.
Make sure they get enough time to play freely daily – and no, watching TV, playing video games or reading doesn’t count. Let them play, harness their creativity, and have fun as they like!
9. Know When to Say a Firm’ No’
While you should be all up for giving your kids the freedom to play, learn, and experiment freely, you must know where to set the limits.
If you don’t set boundaries and treat them with extra leniency, they’ll likely grow up to face behavioral problems. You should learn to say a firm ‘no’.
If you end up giving in to their tantrums or begging after saying ‘no’ for something, you’ll only reinforce that behavior and make them stubborn.
Your child should know that when you say ‘no’ to something, it’s your final decision. That being said, you should make sure that you set the boundaries after much thought so that you don’t have to change your decision afterward.
10. Give Them the Freedom to Be Themselves
Being a father, you should always give your child the freedom to discover who they really are and be themselves.
However, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t teach them what’s right and wrong.
Instilling good values and behaviors will obviously be your top priority but don’t let your child’s personality get lost in the way. Don’t try to mold their personality into something that you want if it doesn’t fit that mold.
You need to understand that all children have their own personalities. You should help them grow instead of limiting them. Learn to love your kids for who they are and not for who you want them to be.
11. Hand Over Some Control to Them
You may not know this but children like to be in control. The sense of independence that it provides is rewarding for them.
However, you need to make sure that they don’t become overly independent at once – the process should be gradual. Let them slowly take over things as they grow older.
You may find it easier to do a task yourself instead of spending your time and energy to teach them something but the latter will be worth it in the end.
It won’t only reduce the pressure of doing certain chores for you but will also boost their self-confidence.
It’s important that your son knows basic chores, such as washing dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning their room in addition to being able to shower, dress, and groom themselves.
12. Be a Role Model
Kids learn a lot by watching their fathers. It’s one thing to use words to teach them something but it’s completely different to model good behavior.
Moreover, if you say one thing and not follow it yourself, it just ruins the whole message. If you want to teach your kid real lessons real quick, the best way is by modeling it.
Kids whose fathers smoke, drink excessively, or do drugs tend to follow their footsteps. It won’t be a surprise if they turn out to lazy and greedy individuals who display a negative attitude and bad behavior.
Kids tend to see their fathers as a hero – learn to become one for them! Before you do anything, ask yourself if you’ll be okay to see your child doing the same.
13. Allocate Time for TV and Video Games
Among all the tips to become a good dad, this is perhaps the most important in the modern age.
In this technology-oriented world, we see kids sitting in front of the TV and playing video games for hours.
This kind of entertainment tends to come in the way of their imaginative thinking, reading, and physical exercise resulting from playing outdoors.
In general, an hour a day is enough time for TV and video games. However, you may choose what you think is best for your children. Just make sure that their ‘media time’ is not the only source of entertainment for them.
Eating together is an important and one of the healthiest practices that keep a family tied together. No matter how busy everyone is, it’ll bring your family together and allow you to spend some time with your kids.
Providing the often-needed structure on a busy day, eating meals together will give kids a chance to tell how their day was and just talk about anything they want.
Meanwhile, fathers get a chance to listen to them, showing that they’re willing to be all ears for them even after a long day.
15. Understand What Your Kids Want from You
More often than not, fathers think they’re bonding well with their kids just because they buy them their favorite things and take them for a fun day out after every few days.
Are you on the same boat?
If yes, jump right out because this is far from the truth!
What children usually want the most from their dads is their love, time, and attention. They want their father to pay attention to them, hear them out, and offer opinions when needed.
Every minute that you spend with them matters. So, try to make the most of the time whenever you get to nurture the father-son relationship.
16. Use Your Sense of Humor
It’s not uncommon for kids to act carelessly sometimes and be naughty because well, they’re kids.
It’s important for you to deal with such situations carefully. Your child spilling water all over the couch may piss you off but don’t take it all out on your child’s innocent mistake.
It’s important to find humor in the situation while teaching your kid to be careful the next time.
Overly strict or aggressive fathers can never develop a strong connection with their children. Your kid shouldn’t be too afraid of you. They should know that they can confide in you if they make a mistake.
Becoming a father is truly wonderful but what’s more amazing is being able to raise your kids the right way.
Now that you’ve taken notes of these amazing tips to become a good dad, it’s time to take that father-son relationship to the next level.